The day you woke me up with aches and pain, I thought that I most likely over worked you. Figuring I just needed to rest you and be back to normal the next day. Not knowing that my optimism of being pain free was far fetched. You began to form lumps from my breast to my under arms, my inner thighs, and my abdomen. My skin started to change becoming thin, riddled with rashes, and tender to the touch. When I couldn’t bare the pain any longer constant trips to the emergency room to have the lumps drained forced me to face the unbearable smell that arose from each incision. Leaving me feeling ashamed, upset, and confused because doctors didn’t know what to do. Over the years of fighting you, disliking you, and not understanding you because you took my joy of life away…dancing, going out with family and friends, my career, my independence, even my physical ability to parent my child. Disrupting my spirit making me feel alone!
My life consisted of surgeries after surgeries confining me to my house that looked no different than a hospital room. I longed for the day to get my life back, to be normal! Why couldn’t you just function properly? Why couldn’t I walk without pain? Play with my daughter without pain? Why couldn’t I sleep without pain? But no, instead you preferred to be filled with pain meds in order to function.
Well Body, after 18 years I finally had enough! I’ve decided to work with you instead of against you. Learning how to manage your pain and avoid your triggers. Also be open to new treatments to help keep you at ease. But I also want to thank you for not giving up on me! So I can bring awareness to someone else and get back to enjoy the pleasures of life.
